When you weigh as much as I do and did, you need to lose the mental weight as well.
What do I mean by this? It’s the negative thinking that goes along with being morbidly obese. I’m not saying everyone who is overweight has negative thoughts, I’m talking about myself here. The ‘I can’t sit in a booth’, ‘what if the seat belt doesn’t fit’, ‘panic at being sat in the back of a restaurant’ thinking. As I lose physical weight, I’m having a harder time losing my mental weight. I know that I’m physically smaller than I was this time last year, but I still get hung up on those what if’s and negative creepy crawly thoughts. How do you get past those? Do you ever? After Bible study yesterday, Nicole gave me a slip of paper with “Captivating” written on it along with the author’s names. She said I needed to read this book and that it would help me with the struggles I have in not being able to see me as I truly am. I took the slip of paper to Mardel bookstore to see if they had it. The store clerk who helped me said it’s an amazing book and really helps with self esteem issues. She spoke a little more about how it helped her, all the while with tears glistening in her eyes. (which of course had me with tears in my eyes) They were sold out so she ordered it for me and should be in, later in the week. She was such a nice person and encouraged me to come back and let her know what I thought of it, once I read it. Apparently there is even a workbook that goes along with it. I’m looking forward to reading it.
I’m hoping it helps me with the mental weight that I carry around. The weight that isn’t always visible to you. The weight that keeps me from seeing what a beautiful person I really am and that I’m much more than the physical weight I have. God has big things planned for me and I need to visualize myself doing His great works.
Losing the mental weight will be just as freeing, if not more so, than losing the physical weight.