Futility.

fu·til·i·ty

[ fyoo tíllətee ]

1.pointlessness: lack of usefulness or effectiveness

2.pointless action: an action that has no use, purpose, or effect

Yesterday was a lesson in futility. Funny, I’ve heard that phrase before, but had to actually look up the meaning to make sure I was using it correctly. Anyway, I woke up at 4:30 to go to the gym. Lauren was going to try and make it so I made a few phone calls to wake her up and see what’s what. No answer, not surprised because Hello! It was 4:30 in the morning. I continue gettng ready and heard back that she didn’t really sleep much so she’s taking a pass on the gym but will walk around her block for exercise. Awesome! Then my next thought was, ‘Should I even go to the gym?’ Of course I should, but there was a fleeting thought of not going. Jake’s out of town this week so the class was canceled which means I’m riding the bike. Woo Hoo. Not woo hoo. I probably should have done more or I know I should have done more but I just didn’t have my heart in it. I did about 20 – 25 minutes and called it a morning. Here’s the action that set me behind for the entire rest of my day. I was driving down MacArthur towards the house, turned off the radio because the noise was getting to me, and rolled my windows down for the cool breeze. About 2 minutes later I hear this POP and then thud, thud, thud. I immediately thought flat tire and please God don’t let it be a flat because who can I call for help at 5:45 in the morning? I drive a little ways, pull over in a vacant lot, and get out to inspect my tires. They are all fully inflated. Maybe it was just a rock. I get back in, drive a few feet more and continue to hear the thud, thud, thud. I get back out and then notice this giant bolt/screw coming out of my tire. Luckily, it was in there in a way that didn’t let the air out and I was able to make it home. The blessing in this is the tires came from Discount Tires and they do free repairs or replacements. The down side is they are always, always busy and there’s a bit of a wait time. I should have arrived when they opened at 8, but didn’t so I was told it would be about 45 minutes to an hour wait. Not too bad, and what was I going to do? I’m not driving on a tire with a bolt the size of a javelin, no matter how much it’s not letting air escape.

Two hours later, yes I was getting antsy, I’m on my way. (I really do L.O.V.E.  Discount Tires. Always friendly staff and GREAT customer service. Just get there early!) Instead of going straight to work, I stop by the bank to pick up my receipts. 30 minutes later, I’m finally at the window. Our work bank is the slowest bank in the history of banks. Nice people, but good grief they need to pick up the pace. It probably doesn’t help that it’s now 10:45 and I’m still not at work. Okay, so I make it to work at 11. If you know where I work, then you might know that we’ve been having internet issues for a few weeks and it is moving slower than our bank. Almost crawling and at times I wonder if we are on a dial up service. Remember when AOL first came out and everyone was on dial up? Yeah, fun. 95% of my job is done on the internet – the programs I use are internet based. They are big programs. The other program used by co-workers is a large program. If we are all on the internet together, it might be Christmas before anyone gets anything accomplished. Monday is transmittal day for our weekly reports. A 15 minute job took me almost two hours yesterday. To say I was frustrated was a gross understatement. I even teared up because I was getting so pissed at still being at work. (I not only cry out of sadness, happiness, etc, I also get tears from being pissed. Thanks overactive tear ducts. Ha!)  I didn’t leave work until 3:45. 45 minutes past my normal time. I should have been pulling into the gym at that time, but instead I was on my way to change clothes and start driving to the gym.

At this point I think, I really do not want to go to the gym today. I seriously thought about staying home and not going. That’s a first for me since I started this journey almost 7 months ago. Like I really, really weighed the pros/cons on not going. That’s a sign I need to go. So I’m headed that way when my nephew calls needing a ride to work. Since I’m looking for any reason not to do what I’m supposed to do, I jump at the chance for a distraction. Plus, I’m all about helping others. We make it to his job about 4:45 and Lauren is working next door, so why not stop in and say Hi! Just prolonging the inevitable. She treats me to dinner, yummy Garbanzo, and around 5:45 or so, I’m headed to the gym. I’ve missed the TNT class and doing booty exercises with my new gym buddies. Hey if it works, I’ll have a great butt. 🙂 I only rode the bike for 20 minutes and the arc trainer for 25. Stuff I could probably do in my sleep. It worked up a little sweat but nothing like if I had been there for the class. I know I’ll be there for the class on Wed and Thur. It was just a day with one set back after another.

It was definitely a lesson in futility. One cause had a myriad of effects. I wonder if it was a lesson in patience? Or how to really go with the flow when you can’t control outside influences? All in all the day was fine. Nothing tragic happened. I got my tire fixed, finished my work, and made it to the gym. It was just on a different time table. It all felt futile. Kind of like the writing of this post. 🙂

 

On a different note, know of anyone that wants to buy a 2003 Isuzu Rodeo? $500 cash. It does need a new head gasket, but has a brand new radiator, battery, thermostat, hoses, and 4 tires with less than 10,000 miles on them. It would be great for someone to fix for a teenager or whatever. Let me know.

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