Week in review, jumping rope, and pink mist.

Happy Monday! Hope you all had a good weekend. I did. It was busy and that’s just the way I like it!  (although, there is something about when having  absolutely nothing to do.) I had a pretty good week last week. I started off at 410 and ended at 406. Down 4lbs. I took a progress photo at the gym on Saturday and that day I was at 405. I’ll take it. That means I am only 5lbs away from 100lb weight loss. I think I’ve already lost that much just because of where I started, but let’s just forget about that and go with the  ‘at the end of this week I’m shooting to be in the 300’s’. Woot, woot!!!

A couple of times last week I stayed after my regular workout and did the fat burning class. Whew! That is an intense workout, but I can definitely see where you would get results. The one Friday afternoon was 25 minutes straight without a rest in between exercises. Goodness. As exhausting as it was, I loved it. I actually like working out. Crazy I know. Especially coming from someone who never worked out. Ever. Sometimes I think, I wish I would have done this sooner, blah, blah, blah…but everything happens the way it is supposed to and maybe if I met Jake earlier, it might not have gone the way it is now. It doesn’t matter. I’m doing it and enjoying the entire process.

In one of the fat burning sessions, they had to balance their knees on a ball, do a push up, and then roll that ball into a knee tuck. I have no idea what it’s technically called but I just looked at it like a ball of “I’m not doing that.” The thinking behind it was that I was not going to embarrass myself in a room full of people if I should A. fall over B. not be able to do it or C. have the ball explode in a loud explosion because I’ve exceeded the weight limit. Jake changed it up to where I sit on it and do some kind of movement that looked like a laying down squat but my immediate question was “How much weight does that hold?” His normal answer is “I don’t know let’s try it out.” Most machines I’m willing. On a rubber ball, absolutely not. 🙂 Fast forward to Friday afternoon and I’m in the gym completely alone. On this rare occasion I decide to try some of the exercises I am either to chicken to try in front of others or stuff I just want to see if I can actually do. I decided to start with jumping rope. There are a lot of times that’s one of the stations in the workout and this girl has too much belly fat, jiggly insert whatever body part you want here to jump rope. So anyway, I pick out three different ropes and decide I’ll just see if I can even do one. Holy smokes party people. I find out quickly that both feet are not leaving the ground together, at the same time. Not happening. So I resort to old school, elementary jump roping where you have one foot in front of the other. Good Grief! I manage to get it over my head and land one foot on the rope and thought I had snapped both wrists. They both jerked back that I was a little worried I did some real damage to my left wrist. The good one! The ropes were quickly put away. Now I’m eyeballing the giant rubber ball and think, Okay, now I’m going to try to see if I can do the exercise from the previous day. I’m still to chicken and if you know me, I’m a little tall and that’s a long way down. So I test out my weight on it by sitting on it. I am literally a jumble of nerves because all I can think about is that this damn ball is going to explode and all that is going to be there when Jake comes in is rubber bits on the wall and pink mist. Did you ever see the Grey’s Anatomy episode where the live bomb was imbedded in someone and the bomb squad said sometimes all that is left of a person in an explosion is pink mist? I would be the pink mist in this scenario. I was cracking up! I mean I know this is pretty thick rubber, but all I can really think is that my weight is going to be too much and it’s going to end up in tatters. Hahahaha…It definitely makes for comedy relief. Needless to say, I stopped trying to see what else I might be able to do and stuck with my buddy the Arc Trainer. At least I know that supports my weight and I’m not in danger of tearing it up.

You know you should have laughter when you work out. Maybe not always, but it can break up the sameness (is that a word?) of the exercise, give you a break, and it’s just plain fun. Everyone needs some fun in their life right? So the next time there is an exercise that you can’t quite do or are too nervous to try in front of others and you have some alone time, try it out. If nothing else, you’ll get a good laugh. 🙂 Laughing at yourself is pretty therapeutic. Have a great week party people! Here’s to meeting your goal. I know I’m going to.

 

Weekend wrap up and 8 months completed.

Happy Monday party people. How was your weekend? Doesn’t it always seem like it goes by in a blink? This past weekend I had a cookout planned for family and friends I have made through the gym and from church at the gym. (yes church at the gym. It’s actually quite awesome. You should come sometime. Sunday at 10a.m. 6420 W. Memorial Road, OKC, OK) Actually let’s start with Friday. Friday I weighed in and I didn’t lose a pound last week. Still 410. It’s a little, maybe a lot, frustrating but the bright side is that I didn’t gain anything. That is a definite plus. In thinking about what I ate, I didn’t have any chicken, hardly any veggies, and I ran out of eggs Tuesday or Wednesday morning. So I was missing a lot of the protein I normally eat and really didn’t replace it with much. Lauren told me, You know you can lose weight by eating other things than just chicken. Haha…I know. It’s just what has been working with me. I was off my schedule or routine and that’s the difference. Anyway, I was in a weird mindset Friday and ate like a stoned college kid. Not so smart breakfast of a pulled pork sandwich, but lunch was even worse. Chinese food! It’s been actual months since I’ve eaten that crap. 8 months ago I was eating Chinese about once a week or at least every two weeks. I really can’t believe I ate it but I wanted to go to lunch with my friends and I was tired of always saying “No, I’m going home for lunch.” Hell, I was kind of feeling like a fat girl. Well hello fat girl. I didn’t go overboard (like before) but I didn’t really enjoy eating it either. Probably because I know how much hard work goes into losing weight, and really every bite that’s all I could think about. How hard I was going to have to work to get rid of that food. And wouldn’t you know it…that was the first afternoon in a while that Jake asked what I had for lunch. I couldn’t even look him in the face but I was honest and told him, albeit very sheepishly, what I ate. It’s not like he would have gotten mad or anything, at least I don’t think so. It’s just an awful feeling knowing you have someone who wants only the best and you mess it up by eating crap. I stepped on the scale to see what damage was done and it read 412. The only silver lining on that is that it was just 2 pounds and not a whole lot more like I was expecting. No more junk food. 😉

Saturday was the day of the cookout. It was a frenzied getting everything ready, hoping everyone shows up, let’s have a good time day. Lots of people showed and seemed to really enjoy themselves. I love having people over/hosting parties. The only drawback is that I always seem to be doing something and don’t really get a lot of time to visit with everyone. A huge thank you goes to Mom and my brothers. Mom for all the help with getting it together and putting food together. William & Patrick for taking care of the grilling. Huge thanks! It was a good time. What wasn’t smart on my part is that I didn’t wear my ankle brace. At all. The entire day. I didn’t think anything of it because I normally don’t on the weekends, but I also don’t run around a lot like I did on Saturday. Yesterday morning it let me know that I still have issues. I fell asleep in the recliner Saturday night (shock surprise!) and woke up around 2:30 or 3 and could hardly walk. My right knee didn’t want to bend and my entire left ankle was on fire. It was definitely a struggle to make it into my room and then even a few hours to try and go back to sleep. When I finally did go to sleep and then wake up for church, I actually thought about not going because it hurt so bad to walk. Even not doing anything it hurt. I went to church but almost left a couple of times because I just couldn’t focus. It was hurting that bad. If it wouldn’t have made a scene I probably would have gone home. Needless to say, I didn’t stick around after it was over and limped quietly out the door. The rest of the day was spent keeping it propped up on pillows and alternating between ice packs and no ice. Nothing has really helped but I kept trying to remember what Jake said in church. Instead of asking God for anything this week, just thank Him. Thank you God for the healing that is going to happen in my knee and ankle. I repeated that all the way home and continued with it throughout the day. Mom also taught me, God is love. So I said that a lot. On repeat. All day. It’s hard to not focus on the pain radiating from my ankle, but that’s what I’ve tried to do. Focus on other things.

This morning it was feeling okay. Not great but there wasn’t shooting pain so I got ready for the gym. It was pouring outside so I fast walked to the car. Wrong idea. What’s a little rain water over a hurt ankle? All the way to the gym I kept thinking I should turn around and that I had zero business going to work out. But I kept talking myself out of it and went in anyway. I told Jake about it so all the exercises that would annoy my ankle were changed. More modifications. 🙂 Anyway, that was my weekend. A lot of fun and some annoying injuries.

Oh!! Saturday marked my 8 months at the gym. I can’t believe where my life is right now. I am continually surprised that I keep working out and that I am working on making better food choices. I don’t know where I would be if Kristi hadn’t answered Jake’s post on Facebook, but I know I would be 100 pounds heavier than I am now and miserable.

I wonder where I will be 8 months from now?

Would you like some cheese with that w(h)ine?

I have been a whiney baby this week. And I don’t like it.  It’s unusual for me because I am normally an internal complainer at the gym. If I’m doing something new I might say a couple of things about it, while on the inside I could be freaking out. But I know that whatever it is I’m doing is for my benefit and will get this weight off of me. I’ve also noticed that if there is someone else working out with me and they make a comment or two about the exercises, I am more vocal. I need to stop. I’m not upset about doing the workouts. I actually like working out. (crazy I know!) Yes they can be hard but like I said, they are for my benefit and will help me attain my goal. Speaking of goals, I can actually see that mine are attainable. I do have an overall # in my head of what I want to weigh at the end of all this and I actually realize this is going to happen. I still have a lot of work cut out for me to get there, but each week (hopefully) I’m getting a little closer to that magic number. All of the chicken & veggies, passing up junk, staying on track, etc is really working. I have 10 pounds to lose until I’m in the 300’s and I know I will be there in the next couple of weeks.

When I reach my goals I’m buying fun stuff for myself. Back when I did Weight Watchers I would reward a good week, or even a bad one, by going out to eat. Huh? Hahah…That defeats the purpose. Now, instead of eating my accomplishments, I’m actually spending money on myself! Totally new concept here. Recently I saw this ring on HSN and was immediately in love. I saw it, wanted to buy it, and then forgot about it. I did think about it from time to time but that was about it – until I checked their website and there it was! It’s a little pricey, for me, but as my lovely mother pointed out “Think of all the money you’re saving by not eating out anymore. Buy it if you really want it.” So I bought it. And I’m so glad I did. It’s completely over the top but oh when the sun hits it, it sparkles!! I do love a good sparkle. What’s even better than a little bling is the fact that it fit my finger. It is a little bit snug, but I wear it all the time now. Girl things. Ahh. I love girly stuff and I’m beyond thrilled that I can actually start wearing girly things. My next purchase needs to be pants. Not as fun as a ring but the fun part will come in the smaller size I have to buy. I’m not sure what that number is, but I’ll find out in the next couple of days. My next girly purchase when I reach my next weight loss goal is a living locket from Origami Owl. Swoon! Their stuff is so cute and I can’t wait to A. reach that goal and B. purchase the locket. You should check out the website. You might find something for yourself.

So…instead of participating in the complaint department or whining about what I’m doing, I’m going to put the focus on being positive and encouraging. 🙂 Have a Happy Thursday party people!

 

A day of firsts.

Today I had a few firsts happen….1. I didn’t go to the gym this morning. Gasp! I had intentions and I was prepared. What I wasn’t prepared for was waking up all night long. We’re talking like every hour or every thirty minutes. There was a pretty spectacular storm raging outside so maybe that had something to do with it, I don’t know. I do know that when my alarm went off at 4:10 a.m. I was less than thrilled to get up. But get up I did. However, I could not keep my eyes open for the life of me. I tried and then threw in the towel. I didn’t think it would bother me much but I felt a little off all day. Kind of like how you feel when you think you have forgotten something or felt like there was something you should be doing. That was me today. My second first…I was the first one finished in the afternoon training session! Holy smokes I couldn’t believe. Too be  fair, I’ve been at it a little longer than my two friends and I’m kind of used to it because it was designed like a lot of stuff we do in the mornings. We had to do four rounds of six different exercises and I did it! In 23 minutes and 44 seconds. That was another first. Having a time like that. I had to look at the stop watch a few times to make sure it was 23 and not 33. My friends did an amazing job and we all finished a tough workout. A lot of creaky knees and my arm fat slapping together. Is that ever going to go away?? Anyway, I didn’t want to gloat about being done first (because that’s tacky) but inside I was shouting. I wasn’t last for once. I am always the last one in the morning class. Always. That’s fine because you aren’t competing with the other people (trying not to) , you’re competing with yourself. At least I am. Mostly. 🙂 I will have to give a little shout out to my buddy M.E. because she was nervous to do a box jump and even as nervous as she was, she did it! Just proves that you can do anything you set your mind on doing. It was fun cheering them on and I’m proud of them for making it through. Good job ladies!! Speaking of these two, we are all in a Biggest Loser challenge on Facebook. It started last Friday and you weigh in each Friday morning. After 6 weeks whoever has lost the biggest percentage wins half the money in the pot. Not a bad deal for losing weight. Right? There are monetary penalties if you gain or maintain, so it’s always beneficial to lose, but what a fun way to stay accountable and possibly win some cash at the end. And the last first today…I got approved for my first credit card. Woot, woot. Sure at 40 you would think I would have at least one, but nope. Here’s to fixing my credit and being an adult. Ha. I can’t wait to write about buying my first house. That’s on the horizon people.

Oh! I weighed yesterday and I am 9 pounds from the 300’s. 9 pounds! That is going to happen in the next two weeks. It will be lovely if I can write next week that I’m 3–. Pretty amazing how incredible my life has changed and continues to change. I’m forever thankful and definitely blessed. Happy Thursday party people!

One more Oh! Jake has moved the Saturday bible study to Sunday at 10 a.m. Last week was the first one and it was great. There was a good turn out and even my younger brother and his family came. If you’re looking for a non church church, you should definitely come by and check it out. You won’t be disappointed. It’s an informal, relaxed atmosphere where a group of people get together to learn about the grace of God. See you Sunday?

Commitment.

com·mit·ment
kəˈmitmənt
noun
   ‘the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc’
In anything you do, you need to have commitment. Losing weight, working at your job, being in a relationship, whatever. For me, I’m committed to working out and losing weight. I’m in this for the long haul, for life actually. This past week I’ve thought a lot about what it takes to lose weight. Partly I’ve been asked how I’m doing it, but really I’ve just been thinking a lot about what it is that I’ve been doing. There isn’t a magic pill or a quick anything. It’s plain old diet and exercise. Shocker! I’m sure all that weight loss crap out there on the market could help and it’s possibly helped you. That’s awesome. I’ve tried various things in the past and yeah they work for a minute and then I give up or it’s found that it’s not safe and then I gain back what I lost, plus some. I lost my commitment. I did Weight Watchers in 2008. I did it for a solid 10 months and lost 75 pounds. Jan – Oct. Towards the end of October, I gained a tenth of a pound and the following week I gained a little more. I let that derail all the ‘good’ I accomplished in those 10 months. Needless to say, I gained back the 75 lbs and probably at least another 25. I’m not really sure. I got huge again. Anyway, I always talked about needing to lose weight and I’m going to do this and that, but I never did. I knew I needed to do something, but it still didn’t motivate to really get out there and do something about it. Until last year. If you know me or have read any of this blog, you know all about that. I’ve been at this now for 7 months and I still enjoy it. In the beginning I didn’t really know what to think, but I certainly never thought I would find such satisfaction in working out. In sweating like a hostage. Every day. Ha! Seriously. This girl sweats like no one’s business. I usually look like I just walked through a car wash.
The difference this time around is that I am fully, 100% committed. I show up on days when I don’t really feel like it. (That’s only happened a couple times) I work out when I’m in a funk, rain or shine. I have a goal in mind and I’m not going to let me talk myself out of it. To date, I’ve lost 73 lbs since that beautiful October day. Woo Hoo! That’s one of the goals I’ve had in mind – to lose 75 lbs in less than 10 months. To beat my WW goal. I’m two pounds a way from meeting that goal. I’m going to reach that goal and continue on to the others.
Trust me, I know how easy it is to make up an excuse and say “I’ll go tomorrow” or “I’m only missing one day” etc. Actually I had that thought this week. Thursday morning I thought about sleeping in. I was meeting a friend at the gym and so I got up and went. She was unable to make it and I said throughout the day, man I could have slept in. Hahaha….even as I was saying it, I knew there wasn’t any way I would have slept in. It sounds good in theory, but I know I was going to be there no matter what. I want to lose weight too bad to sleep in. Plus I don’t really enjoy sleep all that much. (weird I know!)
I guess I’m saying all of this to say – if you want it bad enough, find your commitment and don’t let anything get in your way. It’s not always going to be perfect and there are certainly going to be tough days, but that’s when you for sure need to keep going. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t allow others to rain on your parade. Know that what you are doing is for you and to better your life.
Be committed. It’s definitely worth it. You are worth it!

418.

As of last Friday, May 30th, that was the number on the scale. Woo Hoo! Considering where I was at last year (over 500) I’ll take it. I can’t believe I’m only 18 pounds from the 300’s. It’s my plan within the next couple of weeks, to make that goal a reality. I had a pretty good weekend and made good food choices. I say it all the time, but I really hope there is a day when it won’t have to be a choice, it will just be an automatic thought. Food addiction is the pits. At times I’ve thought I would rather be addicted to alcohol than food. You don’t need alcohol to survive. Food, you do. Although any addiction is unhealthy and I don’t seriously want an alcohol addiction. I’ve seen what that can do to you and no thanks.

I mentioned to a friend yesterday that I feel like I’m a control nut because I don’t have any control over food. It was said that I seem to have a control over food but I think mostly it’s a good front. Well, not all the time. There are days even entire weeks where I have good or even great control, other times, not so much. I was at a cook out on Saturday and it was a little intimidating because A. it was at my trainer’s house, and B. it was at my trainer’s house. Ha. 🙂 I was fine and had a really nice time (I just adore the people that were there) but I was super aware of what and how much I put on my plate. He even asked if I was going to have any more and I don’t care if I was so hungry I could eat the table, there wasn’t any way I was going back for seconds. It was all really good food and pretty much healthy (except for chips and cookies which I stayed away from…) so I didn’t have anything to worry about. I didn’t let it ruin the good time I had and that is a success in my book. Next time, bring a chair. I’m still too self conscious to sit in the folding chair that was offered. I kept thinking, the legs will sink into the ground, what if it breaks, what if…blah, blah, blah. It will definitely be nice when my weight doesn’t rule 95% of my thinking. When it isn’t something I think about when my feelings get hurt and I want to feel better. That one is actually happening a little less these days. Another success. You know, it might always be something I have to deal with, but it won’t rule how I live. As I learn how to do things differently, it’s going to be easier.

So…how’s that for a rambling post? 🙂 Here’s to reaching 418 and here’s to watching it go away forever. I hope you have a good great week and whatever your struggles may you find the sunshine and be blessed.