418.

As of last Friday, May 30th, that was the number on the scale. Woo Hoo! Considering where I was at last year (over 500) I’ll take it. I can’t believe I’m only 18 pounds from the 300’s. It’s my plan within the next couple of weeks, to make that goal a reality. I had a pretty good weekend and made good food choices. I say it all the time, but I really hope there is a day when it won’t have to be a choice, it will just be an automatic thought. Food addiction is the pits. At times I’ve thought I would rather be addicted to alcohol than food. You don’t need alcohol to survive. Food, you do. Although any addiction is unhealthy and I don’t seriously want an alcohol addiction. I’ve seen what that can do to you and no thanks.

I mentioned to a friend yesterday that I feel like I’m a control nut because I don’t have any control over food. It was said that I seem to have a control over food but I think mostly it’s a good front. Well, not all the time. There are days even entire weeks where I have good or even great control, other times, not so much. I was at a cook out on Saturday and it was a little intimidating because A. it was at my trainer’s house, and B. it was at my trainer’s house. Ha. 🙂 I was fine and had a really nice time (I just adore the people that were there) but I was super aware of what and how much I put on my plate. He even asked if I was going to have any more and I don’t care if I was so hungry I could eat the table, there wasn’t any way I was going back for seconds. It was all really good food and pretty much healthy (except for chips and cookies which I stayed away from…) so I didn’t have anything to worry about. I didn’t let it ruin the good time I had and that is a success in my book. Next time, bring a chair. I’m still too self conscious to sit in the folding chair that was offered. I kept thinking, the legs will sink into the ground, what if it breaks, what if…blah, blah, blah. It will definitely be nice when my weight doesn’t rule 95% of my thinking. When it isn’t something I think about when my feelings get hurt and I want to feel better. That one is actually happening a little less these days. Another success. You know, it might always be something I have to deal with, but it won’t rule how I live. As I learn how to do things differently, it’s going to be easier.

So…how’s that for a rambling post? 🙂 Here’s to reaching 418 and here’s to watching it go away forever. I hope you have a good great week and whatever your struggles may you find the sunshine and be blessed.

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