Eating is NOT an event.

I started this on 8/15/2014.


So I was chatting with my brother yesterday on the phone. Catching up and seeing how each of us are doing…it’s been a couple days or so. I was talking about working out. Naturally and what else is new? We were discussing eating fast food. I told him that on weeks when I have a good weigh in, I always think, I’m going to have a bacon cheeseburger today! On weeks when the scale isn’t my friend or it’s been a crappy week, i.e. last week, I think, screw it I’m going to eat _______ and not care. I think yesterday I mentioned Taco Bell. I’m going to have Taco Bell and instead I drive right by. I have every intention of eating whatever it is I’ve said, but 99% of the time I drive right by and head home. I actually cannot tell you the last time I ate Taco Bell. And it’s probably been at least a month since I’ve had a bacon cheeseburger. He said “I’m sure if you did eat that stuff it would make you sick.” I told him about the time a month or so ago how I just had to eat this pizza we had at home. Almost immediately I regretted eating it because I felt ill. I’ve never been a big fan of pizza anyway, but for some reason that day it sounded good. I was wrong. The thing I told him was that I have to rethink my thinking and not look at food as an event. It’s not meant to be special. It’s meant to keep you alive. Sure you have birthdays, anniversaries, date night, whatever where you go out to dinner, but I’m talking about everyday eating. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Food is meant to keep you alive. Eat enough to give you the energy and nutrients you need to live a healthy life. Eat to live not live to eat.

The sooner we take away the power from food, the better our lives will be. I went to an event on Friday that I feel was life changing. I’ll write about it and the weekend in a later post. There were things said about walking in faith and not feelings that really hit home to me. I’m definitely a feelings girl. Especially where food was concerned. Happy, sad, mad, depressed, whatever…food was there. Like I stated earlier, ¬†In going on this journey I have really realized that I have to change my mindset where food is concerned in my life. I have to remove the power I have given it and completely rethink everything. It really is only meant to keep you going. It’s not supposed to be this special thing all the time. Listening to the people on Friday talk about their addictions and how they overcame them was eye opening. I won’t say I’m a food addict because then you are making that your identity. (Something I learned from Nicole.) I had an unhealthy relationship and now I’m making it healthy. Sure I might mess up from time to time. Guess what? I’m human and humans make mistakes all the time. Am I going to let it ruin what I have going for me? Nope. Am I going to let it derail me from the progress I have yet to make? No way. I’m not looking at food as the enemy anymore. It’s a substance to keep me going. Plain and simple. Yes I’ll have some good stuff when it’s time for a celebration, but if you think about it, the healthy food is the really good stuff. (okay, that and my mom’s cheesy potatoes. Ha!)

I hope if you have issues with food you overcome them. It’s my prayer for you. If you need help, ask me. I’ll be here for you. Trust me when I say I know it isn’t easy but you are so damn worth it. Don’t you deserve to life your best life? I know I do. ūüôā


“Dear John” Letter.

Dear food,

I’m breaking up with you. I’d like to say it’s not you, it’s me, but that isn’t the case. I’ve been in a destructive relationship with you for as long as I can remember and I’m done. Over. I’ve listened to your lies for the last time. You have promises of making me feel better, this time it will be better, but we both know that’s crap. I’ve allowed you to disrupt my life for the last time. I thought there was a time when I could trust you and I was wrong. I think you meant well, but I can’t trust myself around you. You are toxic. Honestly, you aren’t 100% toxic, but you definitely have some friends that I cannot be around. You know who they are – Gravy, Bread, Chips, etc. I guess I can’t put all the blame on you. I have to take responsibility¬†for my part in this abusive pattern. I put too much faith or hope in the fact that this time will be different. This time I won’t look to you to make me feel better. This time I can resist your ‘charm’. Most of the time I am successful but this past week, I failed. In epic proportions. I know we go way back to when I was younger. You’ve been my ‘friend’ my entire life. 40 years is a long time to be with something. If it’s good, more power to you. If it’s bad, 40 years is a life sentence without the possibility of parole. I have hidden myself behind you for so long, I don’t even recognize myself. However, I was given a life line about 9 months ago. I started to see myself outside of your shadow. I made friends with your healthy counterparts. Fresh Veggies, Chicken, Eggs, Water. We became fast friends and I really like them. They like me too. ūüôā Somehow you always seem to try and wiggle your way back into my life. There are times when I can resist you like no one’s business. Other times, such as this week, I almost come running back. Is it because I’m not worth it? It has been a rough couple of weeks and instead of listening to your good friends, I jumped head first into the gravy boat. I know they say one unhealthy meal won’t make you fat just like one healthy meal won’t make you fit, but I found myself dipping into the toxic pool on more than one occassion this week. I know I’m better than to let you talk me into bad situations. I’m worth more than what your gravy has to offer. I want to live a better life and I can’t do that with you around.

So the next time you try and sneak into my life I’ll be ready. I’ll remember this week and how I gained 4 pounds hanging around with you. I’ll remember the goals I have for myself and turn my back when you flaunt crap in my face. I’ll remember the disappointment I feel today because I let myself be swayed by emotions instead of going in the other direction. I’m taking away any power I have given you in the past and I’m going to give that power to myself and know that I am worth all of the good that is going on in my life. I know I’m not a number on a scale and as hard as that is to believe that right this very minute, there are better days ahead. I’m going to conquer you and not believe the lies. I’m done listening to you.¬†Instead I’m going to listen to God and what He says about me. I’m going to listen to my¬†family and friends. More importantly I’m going to listen to myself and know that I am a person of extreme value and significance.

Good bye crappy food and bad decisions.

Yours truly,