365 days. One year of time. A lot can happen in that one year…those 365 days. For me, the past 365 days have been life changing. I’ve said it before, but October 21, 2013 is one of my all time favorite dates. It was the first day of my very first workout. I’ve written about it before, but I still vividly remember how absolutely scared I was walking into the gym that day. I really didn’t have a plan or a thought about how long I was going to do this or any expectations. I made it through that day and have made it through every day since then. Some days have been filled with tears of frustration, while others have held tears of joy and excitement. It’s been an interesting journey thus far. I’ve learned that I love working out. I never in my life thought my name would ever been associated with fitness. Now, I do it everyday. (well except Sunday) It’s become a part of my life and a year ago I couldn’t imagine doing it, now I can’t imagine not doing it. This past month or so has been tough because I let doubt creep in and old thoughts/habits. I was losing the battle or actually thought about giving up because I wasn’t worth all the sacrifice and hard work. I know I am worthy. It’s a day to day process. Sometimes hour by hour. I’m undoing a lifetime of bad decisions and poor planning. I didn’t think on October 21, 2013 that on today, exactly one year later, I would be 112lbs lighter. Yes, I still have a road ahead of me, but I know today that I will accomplish those goals. I have 180lbs to go and I know with continued hard work, I am going to reach that goal.
So what’s happened in a year’s time? I’ve made some amazing friends, learned how strong I am (mentally & physically), cried more than I thought possible, continued to laugh through some of those tears, realized fears and tried to put them to rest. I’ve discovered that even though I’m not perfect (shocker!) I have the grace of God and no matter what, that will never change. I’ve lost and gained, and lost again. This is a life change. I hope to help others who have a weight problem and help them realize how wonderful they are despite carrying some extra pounds.
Jake said yesterday “weight is not an issue.” It doesn’t look like much when I type it out, but it was like a cannon going off in my mind. It isn’t an issue. I make it one by allowing it to limit what I do and don’t do. Yes I have extra weight but that’s not who I am. I saw a quote the other day. It said “You are not fat. You have fat. You have fingernails, you are not fingernails.” There is a difference. For so long I’ve always identified as being fat. ‘The fat one’, the ‘quiet’ one…I’m finally realizing that’s not who I am. It’s just something that I have. It’s taken a year for that to finally sink in, but it’s registering.
It’s definitely been quite a year. Thanks to my awesome cheerleaders, family, and friends. Thanks for reading my many posts about losing weight and continually encouraging me along the way. Your support is so appreciated.
Thanks to Jake for taking that chance on me a year ago. He gave me an opportunity to change my life and is always teaching me to value myself. He and Nicole have become family and I just can’t thank them enough for the difference they have made in my life.
I’m excited to see what the next 365 days hold.