Mental Case and a Week/end Wrap Up.

Happy Monday party people! Did you have a good weekend? I did. Scratch that. I had a great weekend. Curious what I did? Good, I’ll tell you all about it. Saturday I had the honor of babysitting B. She’s my 7 month old niece and man is she a honey! When I pick up my camera to take her picture she makes the funniest faces and gets her ‘pretty face’ ready. She is a hoot! Later that evening I again had the honor of going to a gender reveal party for Jake & Nicole. She’s pregnant with their little miracle baby and everyone found out at the same time that they are expecting a sweet baby girl. It was a great party! They already have a precious 5 yr old and to say she’s excited about having a sister is an understatement. It is so cute to witness how over the moon she really is for her little sister. Kids are great. Speaking of, I should have said at the beginning of the weekend my nieces came to stay for the weekend. Love those girls so much and it feels like it’s been an eternity since I’ve seen them. They are growing up so fast. It would be nice if time would slow down just a smidge. 🙂

Sunday was a phenominal day. It was the day for the church cookout and baptisms. When it was first mentioned a few weeks ago, I thought that it would be a great thing to get baptized. I know I was baptized when I was a child, but I don’t remember it and I think now that I’m older and learning more about God it would have a deeper meaning. Basically it means more now. But then I started thinking that I would be a fraud because I don’t know a lot about the bible. I thought I had to know x,y,&z about all of it before being baptized. So I put it out of my mind and thought one day I will. One day when I know more. Then I talked to Jake on Friday about my reservations and he pretty much squashed whatever they were and so I told him that I wanted to get baptized. Of course, me being me, I was super nervous from that moment on. But like it was pointed out to me on Saturday evening, everything that I have been super nervous about lately has turned into great things. True. Sunday morning came and goodness I was a bundle of nerves. Hands shaking, couldn’t hold onto a thought, felt like I was going to throw up, all of it. I even backed into Jake & Nicole’s car when we were all leaving for the lake. Thankfully no damage or injuries. Then once at the lake I pinched my finger in my camera bag clasp. Good grief! I needed to calm down. It was a pretty good turn out which on one hand is a good thing, on the other hand and personally, it didn’t do anything to calm my nerves. My nieces and Lauren were there and my brother William and nephew Brady came as well. That was a lovely surprise. Lauren said she was glad I was so nervous because it meant I was taking it seriously. Once it started I was calm. Well, okay. Once I was in the water and Jake started talking, I was calm. It really was such a cool experience and I will be forever thankful that I did it. I joked sometime during the week about how when you come up out of the water will there be rainbows and bright lights but there really is just this calm feeling. Could be that I was just relaxed that it was done, but I feel like it was more than it just being complete. It’s not really something I can explain, but the rest of the day was amazing. Great times with really good great friends. I really feel like I am making life long connections. That is truly amazing.

Now for the mental case. Losing weight. Yes it’s a physical process but I believe it’s 95% mental. You have to completely change the way you think about eating, how you see yourself, how you think or feel about exercising, etc. Once you’re at the gym, working out is easy. Well, not completely easy or you’re doing it wrong or not enough, but I mean once you’re there, the hardest part is accomplished. It’s the getting there that is hard. I haven’t really felt that in going to the gym, but it can apply to all sorts of places. Coming to work, going grocery shopping, doctor’s appts, etc. Once you get there, you’re on easy street. (again, I know there is work involved, but you get it right?) In the gym, you might as well work out. You got in your car, drove all that way, you can do anything for 30 seconds. At least. Get your mind in the right place and there is no stopping you on what you can do. It doesn’t have to do with just driving to a gym. It’s your mental state where food is concerned. I’ve had an issue with food for forever. Happy, sad, mad, etc food was there. When you’re losing weight you have to view it as a means to keep on living. Not something fun or as an event. It’s what keeps you alive. That’s it. Yes, you want to eat tasty stuff, but healthy can be pretty tasty. You’re eating to live, not living to eat. If and or when the scale isn’t your friend, don’t beat yourself up. It’s just a number and it’s not going to stay on that set of numbers forever. If you know you’ve had a good week and the numbers don’t reflect that, you might have built up muscle. Don’t get hung up on the number. (I’m talking to myself here too.) I’m hanging out at 402 right now. It’s driving me nuts because it seems like I’ve been here for a while. I have three pounds to lose until I’m in the 300’s. I thought for sure I would get there last week, but it didn’t happen. While I was bummed that it didn’t happen, I’m not beating myself up because I know it will happen. I’m not letting anything negative influence me where I might have before, like eating to feel better. That doesn’t work. Never does, never will. It’s going to happen this week. I just know it. I’m working on not being a mental case.

Great things are happening in my life and not just in the weigh loss department. I hope great things are happening for you. Don’t focus on the negative. Positive thoughts lead to positive action. You can do it. Whatever the ‘it’ is. Have a lovely day party people!

Weekend wrap up and 8 months completed.

Happy Monday party people. How was your weekend? Doesn’t it always seem like it goes by in a blink? This past weekend I had a cookout planned for family and friends I have made through the gym and from church at the gym. (yes church at the gym. It’s actually quite awesome. You should come sometime. Sunday at 10a.m. 6420 W. Memorial Road, OKC, OK) Actually let’s start with Friday. Friday I weighed in and I didn’t lose a pound last week. Still 410. It’s a little, maybe a lot, frustrating but the bright side is that I didn’t gain anything. That is a definite plus. In thinking about what I ate, I didn’t have any chicken, hardly any veggies, and I ran out of eggs Tuesday or Wednesday morning. So I was missing a lot of the protein I normally eat and really didn’t replace it with much. Lauren told me, You know you can lose weight by eating other things than just chicken. Haha…I know. It’s just what has been working with me. I was off my schedule or routine and that’s the difference. Anyway, I was in a weird mindset Friday and ate like a stoned college kid. Not so smart breakfast of a pulled pork sandwich, but lunch was even worse. Chinese food! It’s been actual months since I’ve eaten that crap. 8 months ago I was eating Chinese about once a week or at least every two weeks. I really can’t believe I ate it but I wanted to go to lunch with my friends and I was tired of always saying “No, I’m going home for lunch.” Hell, I was kind of feeling like a fat girl. Well hello fat girl. I didn’t go overboard (like before) but I didn’t really enjoy eating it either. Probably because I know how much hard work goes into losing weight, and really every bite that’s all I could think about. How hard I was going to have to work to get rid of that food. And wouldn’t you know it…that was the first afternoon in a while that Jake asked what I had for lunch. I couldn’t even look him in the face but I was honest and told him, albeit very sheepishly, what I ate. It’s not like he would have gotten mad or anything, at least I don’t think so. It’s just an awful feeling knowing you have someone who wants only the best and you mess it up by eating crap. I stepped on the scale to see what damage was done and it read 412. The only silver lining on that is that it was just 2 pounds and not a whole lot more like I was expecting. No more junk food. 😉

Saturday was the day of the cookout. It was a frenzied getting everything ready, hoping everyone shows up, let’s have a good time day. Lots of people showed and seemed to really enjoy themselves. I love having people over/hosting parties. The only drawback is that I always seem to be doing something and don’t really get a lot of time to visit with everyone. A huge thank you goes to Mom and my brothers. Mom for all the help with getting it together and putting food together. William & Patrick for taking care of the grilling. Huge thanks! It was a good time. What wasn’t smart on my part is that I didn’t wear my ankle brace. At all. The entire day. I didn’t think anything of it because I normally don’t on the weekends, but I also don’t run around a lot like I did on Saturday. Yesterday morning it let me know that I still have issues. I fell asleep in the recliner Saturday night (shock surprise!) and woke up around 2:30 or 3 and could hardly walk. My right knee didn’t want to bend and my entire left ankle was on fire. It was definitely a struggle to make it into my room and then even a few hours to try and go back to sleep. When I finally did go to sleep and then wake up for church, I actually thought about not going because it hurt so bad to walk. Even not doing anything it hurt. I went to church but almost left a couple of times because I just couldn’t focus. It was hurting that bad. If it wouldn’t have made a scene I probably would have gone home. Needless to say, I didn’t stick around after it was over and limped quietly out the door. The rest of the day was spent keeping it propped up on pillows and alternating between ice packs and no ice. Nothing has really helped but I kept trying to remember what Jake said in church. Instead of asking God for anything this week, just thank Him. Thank you God for the healing that is going to happen in my knee and ankle. I repeated that all the way home and continued with it throughout the day. Mom also taught me, God is love. So I said that a lot. On repeat. All day. It’s hard to not focus on the pain radiating from my ankle, but that’s what I’ve tried to do. Focus on other things.

This morning it was feeling okay. Not great but there wasn’t shooting pain so I got ready for the gym. It was pouring outside so I fast walked to the car. Wrong idea. What’s a little rain water over a hurt ankle? All the way to the gym I kept thinking I should turn around and that I had zero business going to work out. But I kept talking myself out of it and went in anyway. I told Jake about it so all the exercises that would annoy my ankle were changed. More modifications. 🙂 Anyway, that was my weekend. A lot of fun and some annoying injuries.

Oh!! Saturday marked my 8 months at the gym. I can’t believe where my life is right now. I am continually surprised that I keep working out and that I am working on making better food choices. I don’t know where I would be if Kristi hadn’t answered Jake’s post on Facebook, but I know I would be 100 pounds heavier than I am now and miserable.

I wonder where I will be 8 months from now?